Hold on to your hats

The financial support raising process is often like a rollercoaster. You experience dizzying highs followed by sharp unexpected lows. You get tossed side to side by quick turns and get thrown for more than a few loops where everything is upside down for a little while. For some people I’ve just described the ultimate thrill. For me it’s more about holding on as tight as I can and reminding myself that everything is going to be okay (I have a checkered history with rollercoasters in case you couldn’t tell). But I feel like my relationship with God throughout this process is pretty close to what I described: Highs, lows, twists, and turns, all of which come in rapid succession. 

It's at this point that I often take consolation in the story of Israel wandering in the desert between Egypt and the Promised Land. They experience God doing amazing, awe-inspiring things like parting the Red Sea and supernaturally providing them with food. But it often seems like almost instantly they look around themselves seeing the sand, mountains, and sparse vegetation of the desert, and they forget that God is leading them through. They would rather go back to the slavery that they knew in Egypt then face the uncertainty of God leading them in the desert.

I’m often like that. I wish that I wasn’t. But when I’m honest with myself I know that the present circumstances of my situation have far more influence on me than they should. A little bump here or a quick drop there and I can start to unravel; I hold on tighter and start to wish that I wasn’t on this ride. But like I said, this is where the story of Israel in the desert gives me comfort. When Moses is giving his final speech before the Israelites enter into the Promised Land, he reminds them of God’s presence with them throughout their entire journey as they are about to have to drive out the current inhabitants of Canaan. Moses says, 

“Do not be terrified; do not be afraid of them. The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, as he did for you in Egypt, before your very eyes, and in the wilderness. There you saw how the LORD your God carried you, as a father carries his son, all the way you went until you reached this place” — Deuteronomy 1:29-30 

Throughout the ups and downs God continues to carry me as a father carries his son. I need that.