Introducing ourselves

It is interesting how most cultures have some sort of norm in terms of how to meet and greet new neighbors. And unfortunately, a lot of the old cultural norms aren’t really observed anymore. In the States, the old standard was when a new neighbor moved into a neighborhood, within the first few weeks, the surrounding neighbors would come, bringing with them their warm welcome and often some cookies or a jello mold (I don’t know why the jello mold?). In France, the tradition (as far as I understand) was similar but reversed. Here, it was usually on the initiative of the new neighbor to reach out and introduce themselves to the established neighbors. 

Before moving into our apartment, I had thought a lot about how we could make this initial contact, but of course once we moved in, the busyness of cleaning, painting, and outfitting our place kind of distracted me from following through. But this weekend, our opportunity presented itself. 

In France, it is normal to post a note on the eve of a big party or construction work to give your neighbors fair warning that you will be making a lot of noise during a set period of time. Today we knew we would be installing our kitchen, thus creating a lot of noise for a couple days. One day for demo, one day for painting, and the third day (today) for installation. So we decided to stick a note along with some chocolate chip cookies in each neighbor’s mailbox, to introduce ourselves and also to inform them of our kitchen installation this weekend. 

I was a little nervous. Seeing as how we hadn’t run into any neighbors at all so far, I had no clue as to how they would feel about this gesture. But we have been so encouraged. Since the cookie & note delivery, we’ve met 3 neighbors (who stopped by to introduce themselves) and we were thanked by the “Gardienne” (who lives and works in the building). 

So who knows what will come next, but we are very pleased that this initial contact was a step in the right direction. I will post some pictures and details about our kitchen remodel soon. 

Quick play by play of recent life

Whew. The last 2 months have been exciting and exhausting. After the rush of finding our apartment 1 month ago, we went to Spain for 5 days for a great training (there is a nice group photo below). At this training we learned how to teach in a way that our audience really learns and remembers. It is appropriately called “Learning that Lasts,” and one of the main objectives is to involve and empower your learners as much as possible, it’s very interactive. The biggest take-away for Ryan and I was starting to see how we can integrate a lot of these methods into leading a church, it was eye-opening to see how learning doesn’t just take place in a lecture-style classroom, but that it can take place anywhere. 

The Learning that Lasts training group photo with
representatives from Italy, France, Spain, and Cameroon, Africa 

After that, we hit the ground back in France working hard to catch up in our French studies since we had missed a few days and a big test. Since then it feels like we have taken test after test after test after test. I (Erin) was really struggling for a couple months in French, I did very poorly on several tests in a row in February & early March and I was quite discouraged. It was a good experience for me though because I have always been one of the first people to try to encourage people if they are struggling with something (be that grades, finances, whatever), but this time I got to experience what it actually feels like to be the one getting the bad grades, and it felt worse than I thought. It showed me I had a little more pride in my abilities than I realized and it drew me closer to God in repentance. So in that area, as well as others, my compassion is growing because God is showing me what it feels like on the other side. But recently, Ryan and I both have been making a lot of progress in French. We both meet with conversation partners regularly and exchange some French and some English, and just a couple months ago, one meeting was very draining, but now it feels more and more like real communication is taking place!

Lastly, just a quick update on the new apartment. We got the keys on April 1st and since then have been going there once or twice a week to clean and paint, and most recently to set-up our oven and fridge so we can prepare and conserve food (very exciting). And next Monday, April 21st we are making the move. We have one week off from classes next week so we will have a little time to settle-in before returning to class the following Monday. Even though it is just beginning it already feels like we are making a cultural transition from riding a bike with training wheels to the real thing. I have already had a nice chat with our ‘Gardienne’ (in France many apartments have a ‘Gardienne’ who lives and works in the building and collects rent, cleans and takes out the trash, and helps the renters with an assortment of things). And yesterday we had our first delivery from IKEA and the delivery guy was a little (searching for the right word here… gruff... French… I’ll just go with…) perturbed. So I had my first negative French conversation in which he complained about several things and I tried to be understanding but also communicate that it wasn’t our fault. And that was just one day after we took a French test that covered subjects like how to complain, contest false accusations, etc. It was one of those wow… God has a good sense of humor type moments.

That mostly brings you up to the present. We don’t have Internet yet at our new place, but as soon as we do we’ll be back to tell you what’s happening!

Apartment search update: Part II

So we have an update about something…. which is that we kind of... sort of.. have. AN APARTMENT! In case you are wondering, yes it is the one featured in our last post.

Our entrance (not our motorcycles but that would be cool!)

Signing the papers…

Getting the key!

We are excited, for many reasons including the following: 

• We have prayed and planned about serving the Lord in Paris for over seven and a half years. Before we were even married we started talking about this and now it is really beginning and we can’t wait to see what God has in store.
• We haven’t had our own apartment in two and a half years, we often joke with people that every place we have lived in since being married has been smaller than the last. And that for the last two and a half years we have lived with family, friends, and in training centers with dorm-style living. We wouldn’t trade any of these experiences for the world, but we are looking forward to having our own place to call and make home again. And thankfully, this place is actually a little bigger than the last 2 or 3 places we have lived in!
• As I mentioned in the last post, it can be tough to get an apartment in Paris, especially one that meets most of your criteria and is still in budget. We encountered several hesitations from agencies about our income, our line of work and the fact that we haven’t been in France very long, our current level in the language, and just general competition. But despite the potential obstacles, God provided us a place we believe will be great for our work and lives. 
• Lastly, we believe this area is a strategic place for us to go. We will share more about that soon but just a sneak peak is to say that there are around 250,000 people living in this area of the city and only 3 small churches exist currently. There is much work to do. And we are blessed to have found a place very near to some teammates so even from day one we are part of a small community, which is so important. 

It is especially interesting because two weeks ago, we were having lunch with teammates talking about our apartment search and we had no expectations that we would find one for weeks or even months. After that meeting (the same day) we visited a couple places with our teammate Detlef, and after we didn’t really like those, we tried to articulate what we were looking for. The next day, Detlef called us and said “I’ve found your apartment.” I have to admit, at this point I was feeling a little skeptical and guarded, not that I didn’t believe him but I didn’t want to get my hopes up too soon knowing how much of the decision was out of our hands. But we made an appointment and went and looked at it on Friday. We liked it, expressed our interest and gave them our paperwork. And late Monday evening (about 2 business days later) we found out we could have the place if we wanted it. Last Wednesday, we signed the papers and we can start moving in as earlier as April 1st. 

Honestly, it feels a little surreal. And we know that this is just the beginning. It’s not about having a place in the city, it’s about making disciples and starting new communities of followers of Jesus in the city. Now that we’ve found a place, please pray that we would make a good start there, making the most of every interaction with the people we will meet. 

Apartment search so far

I wanted to update you on our search for a place to live and work. The hunt started with months of browsing apartments online in different places in Paris. We wanted to get a good sense of what was available for what prices throughout the city. Then, we worked with our director to determine our budget. The cost of living in a big city is always significantly high. We had done some research and learned that in most big cities renters spend an average of 40–60% of their income just on rent alone. In France however, there is a fairly strict rule that they don’t want the rent to be more than 33% of your income, this makes it more likely that renters will be able to pay. I think part of this is because there are more rights for renters than for landlords here, it is quite hard to kick someone out if they're not paying. 

So when looking for a place to live, the first thing we had to do was prepare our “dossier,” which is basically a packet of all our paperwork, visas, proof of employment and salary letter, paystubs, proof we’ve been paying rent and other things like that. Some apartments will require you to have a “garant” which is basically a co-signer, someone who will pay if for whatever reason you can’t.  

After our “dossier” was prepared, we started making appointments to visit places. So far we have seen 6. For the first two, we went and learned fast that there is a lot of competition for apartments in Paris (who would have thought?!). Several people arrived at the same time to visit as well. We had a nice chat with one woman who said this was the 20th place she had visited, she looked at it first and as she came out she told us ‘jokingly’ that it was terrible, no place we would want to live, which in fact it was beautiful and well renovated. We were not chosen for either of these two but we were surprised how fast the process took, in just 2–3 days, both places were gone. The 3rd place we went to see, the agent was a no show, which was a little discouraging, but we’ve heard it happens a lot because there are so many interested people. The 4th and the 5th were rather spontaneous opportunities and the prices were right but the apartments were not exactly what we had in mind, so we didn’t throw our names in for consideration. And the 6th place we just saw on Friday. It needs a little work but has a lot of potential. Like most places in Paris, the kitchen is not equipped so it just has a sink and a burner on the counter, if we got it we would then buy appliances and cabinets. It has a nice double living room that would be ideal for hosting people, the only two potential drawbacks are that it has just 1 bedroom and it’s on the 5th floor with no elevator (which is more a negative for hosting than for us). But the location and everything else seems very ideal, so we did throw our name in for consideration and now we are waiting to hear. 

In the mean time, we keep looking and praying. The waiting time is kind of a comfort actually, because it gives us more time to reflect and also it makes us trust God in a very tangible way, because if we’re not selected, then we have faith that it wasn’t the right place. So thank you so much for praying for this process, please continue to pray that the Lord would place us right where he wants us to live and minister, and that we would remember each day that he is in control and that he is good. 

Here are some pictures of the 6th place, but a quick disclaimer here... this is not our apartment yet. We just wanted to invite you into the process with us as we look. 

The kitchen would be a challenge to configure well but I think
I would have fun making it work. It is kind of a triangle shape.

The shower is in the bedroom but the toilet is by the
front door, another interesting feature of many French apartments.

Favorite little things in France right now (5 months in)

Frozen pain au chocolat 

(they are the best warm from the toaster oven)

Christmas markets (I loved them)

Ancient buildings in Paris, every detail was thought 

through and it really is just breathtaking

Parc de Sceaux: We’ve actually only been once but 

it is an enormous public park nearby that is stunning

Just walking the streets of Paris

The pride the French take in the little things, the cheese 
you want to select, or the flowers you are looking at. 
They want to tell you all about it, and hopefully soon 
I will understand more of what they’re trying to tell me!

Every day that there is a clear blue sky or a little sun is a gift

The Eurasian Magpie birds we see everyday

Associatons: I love that everyone is in some sort 

of club, people seem eager to learn new skills or 

improve existing ones. 

Singing at church. I thought it would be a long time 
before we could engage in worship, but we are understanding 
and genuinely worshipping through most of the music 
which encourages us every week.

4 and half months & homesick

I kind of feel bad when people ask me how I’m doing or feeling lately because usually it is either really good, really bad, or I have no idea how I’m feeling and doing. And after a while I start to feel silly because one week I’m great and the next week I’m struggling again. And Ryan and I are usually going through different hills and valleys so we are supportive of one another but not always experiencing the same things in the same way. 

But this week has felt a little different. I have had more pangs of homesickness than ever, thinking about family and friends, our old stomping grounds, jobs, and what not. Admittedly, I have just started crying several times this week without warning and without external reason. Everything is going fine, nothing is particularly hard at the moment, but for some reason I am grieving leaving home right now. Seems like it should’ve happened sooner than this but maybe not, at first things are new and exciting. Ryan did note that we’ve been here for 4.5 months now, and it is longer than I have ever been out of the United States. Each day is a new record. And I think the weight of our commitment is sinking in. We feel sure that we are going to be here for a long time. Not just a year or two. So that reality is hitting home now I think. 

So I really am doing fine (in case you’ve asked or are worried), I am trying to allow myself to walk through the emotions that come and not avoid them or overanalyze them. But it is another week already, so maybe this week will be different too.

The First Step: Purifying the Soul

I got Ryan several books for Christmas, and we started reading one of them together called An introduction to the devout life by Saint Francis De Sales. It is an old classic and sometimes the writing is a little flowery, so much so, that sometimes I read whole chapters without knowing what in the world it is talking about, but it is getting easier to follow and the chapters are very short which is nice. 

Yesterday’s chapter was called “The First Step: Purifying the Soul.” Here are a few of my favorite quotes from this section that are encouraging to me as I attempt to change some habits in my life, and I hope they encourage you as well.

“Before the captive maiden can be engaged to the Israelite, she was obliged to shave her head and pare her nails (Deut 21:12), and so the soul which aspires to be the bride of Christ must put off the old man, and forsaking sin, be clothed with the new man, pairing away and shaving off any hindrances which come between it and the love of God.”

I like the idea of the maiden shaving her head and pairing her nails as an act of preparation. First she had to be clean, before she could even be presented. In the same way, the first step (or preparation) I take when I want to change something is reflection and repentence. First, I have to take the time to see the way I am living my life. Then I need to confess my shortcomings and errors to God and ask for his grace to move forward differently. 

“Such purifications are a miracle of grace. Ordinary purification and healing, whether of body or soul, are accomplished by little and little, progressing slowly and often hardly at all.”

This is my favorite part, because it really challenges the whole notion of instant gratification that so many people, myself included, can fall prey too. 

Then it goes on to say that we must be patient and courageous, not falling into either the trap of instant discouragement at slow progress (this is me), or the trap of believing you’ve already arrived. And I would add a third trap to be on the look out for, which is, believing the illusion that it is you who needs to (or even can) fix yourself. The key is to move closer to God (little by little), because he is the only one who can help. His love and his grace are what can renew and change us from the inside out. 

Just as it says above… “Such purifications are a miracle of grace,” they are not natural, but supernatural. So if you can, reflect on and thank God today for all the ways he has already changed you and ask that he would continue the work he has begun in you. 

Happy New Year everyone!