Finding Our Value

I feel so much better about myself when I feel useful, when I can point to tangible, concrete things in my day and say, “I accomplished that.” Whether its going into work, filling the car with gas, or changing a light bulb, I feel better about myself when I get things done. It’s good to get things done, but without immediate and definite results for my actions I start to feel miserable. I get this sort of “wasted day” feeling, and I feel like I have to go through my day and find the stuff I did to prove that I was somehow productive or useful that day. I’m not really sure who I’m trying to prove it to. Am I trying to prove it to myself, to other people, to God? I don’t want to feel like a useless human being, and I don’t want other people to see me that way, and I want to be able to justify my existence before God and say, “Here’s why I’m a good person. Look at all this stuff I’ve gotten done.” I want to be valuable.

Erin and I are having a hard time with this desire to feel valuable at the moment. We’ve left our jobs, our involvements, and many of the things that gave us value in order to raise support full-time until we get to France. At first leaving everything felt freeing, “won’t it be great to make our own schedules,” we said to each other. But it was amazing how quickly the freedom to make our own schedules became the guilt of not being able to tally up our accomplishments. Where’s our value when we can’t quantify and evaluate what we are doing? It’s a struggle, a daily struggle.

But this is where the Gospel becomes Good News to me. 1 Timothy 1:9 says, 

“God has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time….” 

I want to create my own value, but the Gospel says God gives me value. While I’m trying to defend my value before God, He is trying to show me my value to Him. The value I have is the value He gives, not the value I think I can earn. We are worth the infinite value of His Son, because that is the price He has chosen to pay for us. No matter how useful I feel or how many accomplishments I can tally, the final say on what I’m worth comes from God, and the Gospel says it’s more than I could ever fathom. 

What happened at Boot Camp

Last Monday night, after 7-hours cruising in the faithful Honda, we arrived at the Comfort Inn in Harrisburg, PA. What were we doing in Harrisburg you ask? Well, we had the privilege of going to an intense 2-day training called Boot Camp. It is for Christian workers from dozens of different organizations, denominations & associations, who, despite those smaller differences, share many awesome things in common, including the very practical need to raise their own financial support in order to do God’s work. And that is precisely what Boot Camp was all about, how to develop partners who will send all these workers into the harvest fields. 

Here is a photo to prove we were there.

Can you find us?

The best part for me about Boot Camp was really examining God’s Word in all the instances it talks about ministry and how God’s workers are to be provided for. 

I was so encouraged to spend so much time in God’s word, to really soak in it. It strengthened my understanding of why we develop Partners, because our Partners are going to hold the ropes for us, literally not figuratively. They are going to be our dearest friends, the people who invest in us and the people we invest in, here in the U.S. 

But also, and this was a newer concept for me, we are doing a great service to our Partners by providing an opportunity for them to give and grow in generosity and cheer. God loves generosity and somehow, I don’t fully understand it, but somehow by opening our wallets it also opens our hearts more fully to God’s purposes and also to God’s blessings. Jesus rewards our sacrifices. Like He explained in Matthew 19:29, after the rich man went away sad after Christ told him to sell all that he had and give to the poor, Jesus explained to the disciples that...

“everyone who has left houses, or brothers or sisters, or father or mother, or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” 

I am so joyful that our Partners are not just providing for and blessing us, but God is doing the same for them.

Another of the passages I really like is Proverbs 11:24–35 

“One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

We learned a lot more at Boot Camp, but today I just wanted to express how awesome God’s Word is. It really is the bread of life. Now, I think I will go make a sandwich for Ryan and I so we can be nourished by that as well. 

So busy, so blessed

The past few months have been a blur. Honestly, upon reflection, we have probably been way too busy at times. But it is hard not to be with so many good things going on, especially now, as we begin to pack up boxes and get ready for the first big move, this one back to Ohio (not that we’ve actually started that yet, ha). There is so much we are transitioning out of and so many people we are saying goodbye to. Not goodbye goodbye, but goodbye to seeing them everyday or on a weekly basis.

Our time here in Mass has truly been so busy and so blessed.

We have worked hard at growing as followers of Jesus and as a married couple. Ryan has received two graduate school degrees, we have worked hard at our jobs, and poured into our church, and learned so much from all three; school, jobs, and the body of Christ. 

We have learned how to love each other better. We have learned how to make friends, how to serve and how to be served. We went from having no friends here to being surrounded by great ones, many who now feel like family. Through the modeling of awesome people, we have learned how to ask better questions, and really care about the answers. We have learned how to cook better, somehow, and to open up our humble home. Lately, we have only been eating at home once or twice a week though, because amazing people have us over to feed us, and love us, often even when they know we are about to ask them for money. It’s truly awesome and humbling. 

We have seen God provide for us physically, spiritually, monetarily, and relationally time and time and time again. We have known times of plenty and times of want, but even when we had want, we actually still had plenty. We have walked through a church division and seen how God’s will for His church bursts forth from the ashes like a phoenix, sometimes slowly as He restores the brokenness, but His love and His plans prevail, but even in that, it is up to us to allow Him to use us for His purposes.

We have seen God’s confirmation that He is leading us to start new communities of believers in France. We saw it in Ryan’s first week at Seminary, when a famous African Pastor spoke with clarity and conviction that their vision matched our own, to plant new churches in every major city in Europe. We saw it when we raised over $10,000 in 3 months, to go to France for 7 weeks and see first hand what church planting in Paris looked like, and again when my job allowed me to take the full 8 weeks off to go. We saw more confirmation still when we applied and were accepted to join World Team (after a rigorous screening process called RACE) and then a couple months later when we were invited to join the team in France. We continue to see it, with each and every new Partner that joins our team along the way. 

So I guess what I am getting at is, dang, we are blessed. As we look forward to the next step of moving to Ohio there is excitement, and honestly some relief that we won’t be quite as busy, but the Lord has truly done so much and grown us so much during this season, so there is much sadness too. I hope that our friends in Mass know how thankful we are for them. They have made these 5 years some of the best of our lives so far. 

Pray for the first Gospel Café

As you know, Ryan and I are still in the U.S. and actually are quite busy with preparations because next month (literally 1 month from today) we are moving back to Ohio. We will be there until God provides all the financial and prayer partners we need before we can go to France. 

One of the encouraging blessings during this time, though, is when we get to connect with our leaders and teammates in France and hear about the work that is happening there, and lately there has been a lot going on. I wanted to share about one new ministry starting this week in Versailles and ask for your prayer as our friends and teammates begin this new work. 

It is called Gospel Café. The basic concept is quite simple, once a month there will be a Gospel concert, put on by a couple of our teammates with the help of some great musicians (side note: Gospel music is actually quite popular in France and brings many people together, Christians and non-Christians alike). These events will be a great way to meet new people and gather with existing friends. There have already been many answers to prayer in this new venture, the biggest one being just a couple weeks ago when the leaders found the perfect Café, literally across the street from the Palace of Versailles, that is excited about hosting the events and is doing so for free. This was after our teammates visited dozens of other Café's and were initially even rejected by this one, but God proved faithful and gave them favor in the eyes of the Café owners.

The first Gospel Café is this Thursday, October 18th. Please pray with us that it will be a great success and a great way to meet new people that can hear and learn more about Christ's love for them and to also meet existing Christians who are searching for a community to plug into. 

Yard Sale: Next Friday & Saturday

Get excited because Ryan and I are selling a lot of our stuff August 24 & 25, next Friday and Saturday, from 8am–1pm (and you know how great our taste in stuff is right?). But in all seriousness, we need to do some purging before we go to Ohio and definitely before heading to France, so in a way, by buying some of our things, you are helping us get one step closer. So if you are local, come on over to the church parsonage yard (italicizing "yard" to emphasize the Boston accent) next Friday and Saturday!

In Christ's perfect timing

We shared this in our July newsletter but I thought it made sense to share it on the blog as well so here goes. Through much thought, prayer, and discussion we have decided to transition back to Ohio in mid-November to complete the rest of our partnership development for France there. We see this as the logical next step for several reasons, a couple reasons being:

• We want to have time to say goodbye to family and friends in Ohio.
• We have numerous opportunities available to us for partnership development in Ohio as well because we have more years invested in relationships there.

It is going to be very sad to say goodbye to so many people who have become dear to us over the course of time that we have been in Massachusetts. Our entire marriage has taken place here and we have grown so much, through Ryan’s two degrees, my work at the Harvard School of Public Health, our involvement at church, and the amazing friendships we’ve made, it feels strange to wrap up what has been an amazing season of our lives. But we are confident that this is the Lord’s leading and that it is the next step on our way to serving Him in France. The first stop before France just happens to be Ohio. So with this news, our timeline of getting to France has adjusted slightly and this is the new plan. 

Our hope is to arrive in France by August 2013. Once there, our first year will be devoted to language learning and immersing ourselves in the culture, and then we will take part in an internship with an established French church. With the guidance of World Team leaders in France, we will research locations and begin working with a team to establish a new community of believers. In this new church community, we will disciple and train French nationals to be leaders themselves with the goal that the church we plant will multiply itself in years to come under the initiative of French Christians. This will happen as we share the Gospel, build relationships, and demonstrate the love of Christ in our community. It is our prayer that the Holy Spirit will work through our efforts to yield a vibrant body of believers grounded in the truth of Scripture.

And we can’t wait to get started!

A thought on the Olympics

I really enjoy watching the Olympics, and I love the excitement of the opening ceremonies. The host country always puts on an elaborate show followed by all the athletes marching in dressed in styles and costumes that represent their countries. It’s such an amazing spectacle. But it struck me as I watched the opening ceremony this year that this is just the smallest taste of what Heaven will be like. People from all over the world gathered together in excitement and celebration, diverse but united at the same time. We won’t be celebrating sports, but Jesus our Lord who gave his life for every single one of us.

I like thinking about it.

“After this I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. And they cried out in a loud voice: ‘Salvation belongs to our God, 
who sits on the throne, 
and to the Lamb’” — Revelation 7:9-10